The problem is that by nature we tend to speak our own love languages. That is, we express love to others in a language that would make us feel loved. But if it is not his or her primary love language, it will not mean to them what it would mean to us.
This is why thousands of couples are frustrated. Sam, a divorced single, said about the woman he is dating “I don’t understand her. She says she feels like I don’t love her. How could she feel unloved? Everyday I tell her that I love her. I also give her compliment everyday. I tell her how pretty she is. I tell her what a good mother she is. How could she feel unloved?”
The problem is her love language is act of service, not words of affirmation. So in her mind, she’s thinking if he loved me, he would do something to help me. When he comes over, he watches television while I wash the dishes. He never helps me with anything. I’m sick of his words “ I love you, I love you” words are cheap. If he really loves me, he would do something. I do everything for him: he does nothing for me. This scenario is repeated in thousands of relationship. Each person speaks his own languages and does not understand why the other does not feel loved. If we want the other person to feel loved, we must discover and learn to speak his/her primary love language
Many dating relationships become troubled, especially if the couple dates beyond the two years obsessive stage of passionate love. Often these couples break up and go their separate ways, not because they would not have good marital partners, but because they lost the emotional love they had for each other.
Often this could have been remedied had they discovered each other’s primary love languages and learn to speak it
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