KIND WORDS

Another dialect of words of affirmation is kind words. This has to do not only with what we say but the manner in which we say it. The same sentence can have two different meaning, depending on how you say it. The statement “I love you,” when said with kindness and tenderness, can be a genuine expression of love. But what about the statement, “I, love you?” The question mark changes the whole meaning of these three words

Sometimes our words are saying one thing, but our tone of voice is saying another. We are sending double message. People usually interpret our message based on our tone of voice, not the words we use
When your roommate says in a snarling tone, “I would be delighted to wash dishes tonight, “it will not be received as an expression of love. On the other hand, we can share hurt, pain, and even anger in a kind manner, and that will be an expression of love, “ I felt disappointed that you didn’t offer to help me this evening,” said in an honest kind manner can be expression of love. The person speaking wants to be known by the other person and is taking steps to build authenticity into their relationship. The same words expressed with a loud, harsh voice will not be an expression of love but an expression of condemnation and judgment
The manner in which we speak is exceedingly important. An ancient sage once said “A gentle answer turns away wrath” When your work colleague is angry and lashing with words of heat, if you choose to be loving, you will not reciprocate with additional heat but with a soft. You will receive what he is saying as information about his emotional feelings. You will let him tell you of his hurt, anger, and perception of events. You will seek to put yourself in his shoes and sees the event through his eyes and then express softly and kindly your understanding of why he feels that way. If you have wronged him, you will be willing to confess the wrong and ask for forgiveness. If your perception is different than his, you will be able to explain your point of view kindly. You will seek understanding and reconciliation and seek not to prove that your own perception is the only way to interpret what has happened. That is mature love. Love speak kindly