The key to a Good Relationship

WE ARE RELATIONAL CREATURES. All human live in community, and most people seek social interaction. In western culture isolation is seen as one of the most stringent of punishment. Even aspire to solitary confinement. It is safe to assume that everyone reading this article has relation-ships. The question is what is the quality of those relationships?
Positive, affirming relationship brings pleasure, but poor relationship brings deep pain. I would be so bold as to suggest that life’s greatest happiness is found in good relationship and life’s deepest pain is found in bad relationship. If you feel loved by your mother, then the maternal relationship brings you a feeling of comfort and encouragement. On the other hand, if your relationship with your mother is fractured, you probably suffer feeling of abandonment. If you were abused by your mother, you likely feel hurt and anger, maybe even hatred.

THE ROLE OF OUR PARENTS

Lack of love from parent often motivates their children to go searching for love in other relationship. This search is often misguided and leads to further disappointment. For a number of years ago Derek has worked with street people. A few years he said “I’ve never met anyone on the street who had a good relationship with his/her father”.
All your relationship spring from the relationship with your parents. The nature of that relationship will have a positive or negative influence on all other relationship.
Many singles adult have felt unloved by one or both parents. To compensate for the emptiness, they have poured themselves into positive pursuits and have accomplished admirable goals in many areas, but they have been extremely unsuccessful in building positive relationship with other adults. Most have never stopped to ask, “What do I need to learn about love in order to build successful, positive relationship?” Understanding the love languages will answer that question
Another reality about relationship is that they are never statics. All of us experience changes in relationship, but few of us stop to analyze why a relationship get better or worst. Most divorced singles did not enter marriage with a goal of divorcing in fact, most of them were extremely happy when they married. They would have characterized their marriage relationship as positive, loving, and affirming. Obviously something happened to the relationship. By the time they divorce they are saying such things as, My spouse is unloving, uncaring, self centered, and sometimes downright mean. “Ironically, the spouse often makes similar statements about them. Obviously the marriage went sour, but why?

Significant and Growing

IF YOU'RE READING THIS ARTICLE,chances are you're either single or know someone who is.more than four of every ten men are single. In fact, the nigeria has more singles adult than any other nation in the world except india and china. of course, single adult are not homogeneous lot. There are at least five categories of single adult, each very different from the others. The largest category of singles is those who have never been down the aisle, but the other four also command our attention. Here are the five groups

1. Never Married. Age eighteen and older, this group is 49 million strong. The median age of a first marriage has risen to twenty-five among women and twenty- seven among men . This means that, in the general population among people eighteen to twenty-four, almost nine out of then (87 percent) has never been married.
2. Divorced. Today, at anyone time 10 percent of all adult are divorced over time however many more married adult suffer through divorce.within five years 20 percent of all married ends in divorce. Within ten years.one-third of all couples will be divorced, and within fifteen years forty- three percent will be divorced
3. Separated but not Divorced. These are individuals who are still legally married but no longer liver under the same roof. In lifestlye they are more sinle than married. The separated status however is temporary. These individual will either reconcile with their spouse or go on and formalize their separation by legal divorce .Research indicate that 97 percent of women who separated from their husband end up divorced within five years of the separation
4. Widowed. Widowhood is definitely gender biased. Four out of five adults who are single because of the death of their spouse are females. Nearly half of all women sixty-five and older are widowed, compared to only 14 percent of all men
5. Single Parents. One hundred years ago fewer than one out of every hundred adults was a sinle parent of a child under eighteen. Today there are more than twelve million single parents with children under eighteen in their care-- almost one out of every three families. Obviously, many single parents have never been married. Among those who are singles moms, 40 percent were never married to the father of their children. Thus a growing number of never married singles are also single parents

DIVERSE YET UNITED It is obvious from this overview that single adults are very diverse, However, they are united by those 4 factors that hold all of us together as humans. If you are a single adult , you're seeking to understand yourself and your place in the world. Every single wrestles with values,morals, relationship, and meaning. At the heart of this pursuit is the need as an unmarried person to give and receive emotional love. Whatever the category, as a single adult, you want to feel loved by the significant people in your life. You also want to believe that someone needs your love. Giving and recieving love is at the center of the single adult's sense of well-being. If you feel loved and needed, you can survive the pressure of life. Without love, life can become exceedingly bleak.